


Flaws

by Deanismysavior



Series: Music Inspired [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7617889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanismysavior/pseuds/Deanismysavior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GUys I totally forgot that I wrote at least 2 more of these! Currently trying to find the other(s?). Inspired by the song Flaws by Bastille.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flaws

When Dean had said those three little words to him, Cas had felt his breath catch in his throat. He had wanted more than anything to say it back. To tell Dean that every day he’d been watching over him, he had been studying the curve of his lips hoping that one day they would touch his own. That he had observed the way his green eyes sparkled when he was about to tell a joke. That he smiled when Dean mumbled in his sleep. He wanted so desperately to tell Dean that he was everything. But there was something that held him back. When he had whispered those words softly in Cas’s ear in the darkness while they watched the stars on the hood of the impala, Cas had panicked. He panicked so badly that he had run from the moment. Well he hadn’t run exactly. More like evaporated. And now the shame of his actions weighed heavy upon him like a boulder, crushing him under its weight.

He paced the floor of the kitchen, still waiting for Dean to awaken from his bedroom down the hall. He was so ashamed and embarrassed of what he’d done, but he had to try. He had to at least make Dean understand. Cas soon heard the padding of feet against the hardwood floors as Dean rounded the hallway. He took in a deep breath before turning to face him.

“Cas…” he could hear the slight break in Dean’s voice as he said the name. As if it wounded him to utter it, which Cas didn’t doubt it did. It took all Cas had to raise his head from the floor and look at him.

When he did, he immediately regretted it. He saw the pain flooding through Dean’s eyes. He noticed the way his lips parted as though he wanted to say something, but didn’t have the strength to bring forth his words with the conviction they should be merited. “Dean…” his voice trailed off. He wanted to say so much, but he didn’t know where to begin. “I know I’m sorry isn’t enough.”

“You’re right Cas, it’s not. I don’t think you know how much you hurt me. Please, just go. I can’t do this right now. I can’t see you right now.”

“Dean please, just listen.”

“You had nothing to say then, why should I listen to anything you have to say now?” his question snared Cas with a hint of spite.

“I was scared Dean. That’s why I left.” He huffed, letting his shoulders sag. “Dean, I have always so admired you for everything you are. You are a broken and flawed man, you are so scorched and scarred from the battles you’ve faced in your life, but never once have you been afraid of them. You wear them as a banner; as armor. You wear them proudly into war.”

“Cas,” Dean’s face softened, his jaw unclenched and his brows no longer mirrored a stern and angry face, but instead reflected one of worry and concern. But most of all, one of hope. “What are you saying?”

“ I on the other hand, am an angel. I am supposed to be a divine warrior of heaven: righteous. I am supposed to guide and protect, yet it seems that I cannot even manage to do that. Instead of mending the walls, I bring them falling down around me. And I’m too proud at the time to admit how wrong I was.”

“You’ve always done what you’ve felt you had to do. You’ve always done what you thought was right, Cas. You can’t beat yourself up over that. So you’ve made mistakes, so what? Everyone does. God knows I’ve made my share. Just because you’re an angel it doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“Perhaps not, but it does put me at a higher standard than anyone else. And I’ve failed too many times. If you knew the half of what I’ve done…”

Dean paced forward, placing a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “You know whatever it is that you’ve done, you can tell me. Cas, nothing you say could ever change my mind. Besides, what does this have to do with what happened?”

“When you said…what you said to me, I wanted so badly to say it back, I really did, I still do, Dean. But I’m not worth it. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who won’t keep... letting you down. So, when you told me that Dean, I knew I could never deserve it.”

“God Cas, you don’t get it do you? I know you’re flawed. You think that I don’t see the way you walk around with the weight of the world on your shoulders? You don’t think I see how broken you are? You don’t think I see the kind of toll it takes on you? Cas, I know. I know and I don’t care. Hell, I always used to hide my flaws and I’d let my problems and insecurities bottle up inside of me until I’d burst. And to some extent, I still do. But Cas, you were the one that finally convinced me to open up. You were the one who taught me to be okay with who I am. So yeah, you’re flawed. And there’s no way I’m taking it back.”

His words lifted whatever had been weighing on Cas and drew back the clouds that had been paling the skies above him. He could feel the warmth the sun’s light had brought him on the whisper of three little words. He realized he had spent too much time picking himself apart to see just how much Dean cared for him. 

“I love you,” Dean repeated, saying it so matter of factly, “flaws and all.” And with those three words, the hole inside Cas’s chest had been filled. He took Dean’s hand and leaning in to rest his head upon Dean’s shoulder.  
“ _Flaws and all _” he whispered.__


End file.
